We should be called the Road Head Warriors
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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