stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just pee around me
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think your dad took our porno
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
