Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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