I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
