it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
