So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
