I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
