You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
