I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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