He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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