idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
