I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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