ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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