But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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