I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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