I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
