I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
