yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
