Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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