I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
