i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
