I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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