I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
