just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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