I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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