I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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