WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
