those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
