where am i from again
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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