apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
