I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize