Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
