Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
