It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
