she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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