I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
