We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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