I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
