yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize