yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
