Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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