i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
