I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
