her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
accomplished twins. life is a go
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
