Don't you send me to vm
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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