Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
