How'd it feel making her break her religion?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
