I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
