Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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