I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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