We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
