sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
