Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
