shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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