So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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