Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize