Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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