I love black thongs
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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