So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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