I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
